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Friday, April 25, 2014

You get what you give... or you don't.

When lighting strikes, darkness vanishes and it is usually a good thing. Light is a good thing. What is not so good is to have the lightning striking right on you. 
I have heard almost all about me, according to people I am weird; funny; nerdy; goofy; intellectual; mature; serious; strong; stubborn; temperamental; a sweet spirit; a good friend; too innocent; a good human being; jealous; needy; a very nice, considerate person; a control freak; a perfectionist; a woman with low self esteem; a confident woman; a happy go lucky, restless soul; the typical "girl next door", and oh so many things! So many flattering things!   
It is also flattering to hear all this empathetic and nice people in my life telling me that I deserve a loving, romantic relationship, someone who appreciates me, takes care of me and stays with me for better or for worse, a friend, a true companion. It is so sweet of them trying to cheer me up, give me hopes and assure me that of course I will get all that some day, because those who wait for something good never wait too long and someone like me sure deserves all that, and even more. 
Didn't get that wonderful love story so far, won't ever have it. Do I think I deserve a nice, loving man who gives me all I've ever wanted and who treats me with dignity and respect? You bet I do! Here's the catch: People get what they get. It has noting to do with what they deserve.
Will I change who I am? NO. People don't change. I will still be nice, loving and caring. I will still be cheerful and taken for a dumb, innocent, easy to fool pink and glitter loving hallmark girl. 
Do I feel angry, sad, lonely, unhappy, miserable, disappointed maybe? The truth is I feel nothing. 

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