Today I thought a lot about how easily we lose focus… in our daily races against the clock, getting the kids done for school, getting the papers ready, cleaning on time, dinner, the shopping, what’s missing in the fridge? Was the deadline this week or the next? What was I expected to write about? When are the bills due? Getting to work, getting the job done, picking up the kids and trying to squeeze out an hour to “relax” on the sofa and have a meaningful talk with our spouse… and there went one more day, and so it goes the week and soon it is Saturday and there are piles to wash and dry, and toys to pick up and the house to be cleaned again… and there it went the weekend… Is life supposed to be that?
And one morning we get in the shower and we check our weight and we found that the scale has gone mad! Because we did NOT have those 4 pounds there last week, so we have to train and lose two sizes and skip the muffins that we baked…
And so it happens that we find a new wrinkle, and we start wondering if we maybe wouldn’t have to change our anti-aging cream because this one that we bought was no better than Crisco shortening…
Or maybe we decide that a few hours overtime won’t kill anybody, and they don’t… they just go fast and we don’t even notice it… except for when it’s time to go to bed and we are far too tired to even yawl…
I think far too many times we just get lost… we become a thing, an agenda, a home appliance… but not any appliance, we become one striving to look like a model, too!
And so it was that I started to think about what I really want, what kind of a person do I really want to become, what is it that I want to be remembered for? How do I want to influence the lives of those around me? What am I willing to sacrifice in order to show them my love, in order to care, to support, to lift up?
The person that I so much want to become does not come with a vacuum cleaner attached, it most certainly does not pose in the cover of a magazine or walk down the red carpet in Hollywood… it is fine for those who want that, but I truly don’t.
I started to realize that for so long I had forgotten all those things that give me strengths, that make my heart be filled with warmth and love, I forgot all those things that make me who I am, and only because of that, make me special.
Sometimes in life, I think (and that is a very, very humble “think”) that we need to come back to the basics, to those things that made us who we are and made us feel that life is simply wonderful. It might mean that some trunks need to be open, or photos looked at, or long lists need to be written… It might mean that we must silence the noises around us and just listen to that tiny little us who is screaming inside… it might mean that we need to stop analyzing and revolving around theories and news, and facts, and cars, and clothes, and bills, and meetings and work and just look for the warmth, the peace, the love, the nourishing that we once found.
In the everyday rush I wish I could see how lucky I am to be able to take care of my children, when the chapters to be read are far too many, I would like to remember that I can read, and have the books, and that they might look like a bunch of pages, but they are more than that… in the food to prepare I would like to enjoy the taste and smells. In the inevitable process of aging and gaining pounds I would like to understand that together with the years come those long relationships that we have taken care of over the years and are now strong and beautiful, it comes the wonder of having seen the little ones around us become lovely young women or men, with aging comes also the sad lost of dear ones, and it is with aging that we make them a part of us, as living as we are…
Sometimes I lose focus, we all do… and when I do, I think it is a good thing, to just come back to basics…
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