Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Emily and Olivia's first Lucia

The 13th of December is Lucia day in Sweden. It's kind of long to explain and there are more than one version of the begining and the meaning of it, let's just say it's a Swedish tradition where kids get all dressed up (some of them like KKK members, which is kind of creepy, others like Santa or Santa's little helpers and others, like my kids, just put on "Lucia's night dress and hold a candle) and sing Lucia songs and xmas carols.
The 13th was Emily's and the 14th Olivia's cellebrations in daycare and of course I had to miss them!!! Why? Because I am a terrible, terrible mother who had to be in College both days!!!
Thanks to grandma and grandpa I have it on DVD and could watch it and cry over and over again the next weekend.
Here are some of the pics.

Friday, December 3, 2010

How much is TOO MUCH?

It's been a long time since I last posted something here... I know, I know... the point was to write about all those everyday details that make life what it is, but somehow I haven't got the time. Not that I "really" have the time now but it's good, once in a while, to forget about all the "must do" and get some time off to do, at least one of the "want to do".
These last weeks have been a nightmare! well I might be overreacting but it feels like that just now. When we consider the funny effect of time we might all agree that in a few months, maybe even a few weeks, this would be another "small stone in the way".
Nicklas has been hospitalized for a whole week whith a pneumothorax that nobody seemed to know why it happened or how to fix. After a week they decided that he needed surgery. It all turned out fine... all except me, I'm affraid...
It felt so overwhelming to be alone with the kids, drop them in daycare, study, run to the hospital, taking the dog for walks, writing essays and having online seminaries to attend, the food, the cleaning, the shopping... I managed because obviously there wasn't any other option.
Oh gosh! I am such a whimp! The thought that any other woman would have done it just fine with no complaints strikes me everyday. But I cannot stop wondering how much is actually too much...
A final to come in just two weeks and I am really absolutely not ready, three days in a raw going up att 4 in the morning to catch the buss and then the train and then endless hours in College.
Sometimes it feels a little bit like a damaged computer batery, the screen keeps on showing "7 minutes left" and the stupid thing keeps on going and going. Will anybody believe that I am actually in the "7 minutes left" period? I am not a superwoman, as much as it hurts to admit it, my too much has come with a body that keeps on going and going.
"I'll rest someday", I keep on saying to myself; "count your blessings", "you never get more than you can handle", "if you save your energies and stop complaining you will have more strenghts to do what you are suppoused to", "it's ok to ask for help", "reconsider your priorities", bla, bla, bla, bla... The machine goes on and on with the stupid unseen message "7 minutes left".

Thursday, October 14, 2010

It's been a long time!

I am suppoused to be studying now, but the truth is that I am gettin a little bit tired of all the muscles and bones.
There has been quite a lot going on, though I am affraid it wasn't that intresesting as to post it here.
I have started with University and I love it. Right now we are focusing in Anatomy and Physiology and it can't really get more interesting than this! Or maybe Preclinic I... hard to say.
I have met wonderful people and I feel at home in school. We got our clothes not so long ago and it turned out to be really amusing to see each other all dressed up as nurses, some of the guys already looked like ones.
Not so much time to write because mostly of the times I am online I find myself trapped in the school learning plattform, it turned out to be more addictive than facebook!!! I am so sounding like a total geek... :(
The girls are growing so fast! Olivia turned 2 on September 2nd and we had a little party at home. We had a lovely time with our friends and their kids. She wanted a snail-cake which I translated into "a cake with a snail on", so that's what she got. Big sister came up very upset and pointed out that my snail was wrong! the eyes are not in the face... Ok, my little biologist had a point, but it wouln't have looked cute with eyes on the antenas.
As crazy as it seems, Emily is fascinated with the skeleton, she sits with me and memorize names for bones over and over again. She even wants to sit right next to me when I am watching the clases!!
I gott get going now but I will try to post a little more often.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Blessed be daycare!

And so it was that the family routine chance drastically. Last Wednesday the girls started daycare. We were blessed with the transfer to one that is much nearer and has a much better reputation.
The first day we were there with them and it went quite good, the wander came when it was time to leave them alone (well, obviously they were with the teachers and a bunch of other kids) and they just waved bye bye and went on playing.
They simply love it! Olivia's teachers can't stop saying how amazing it is that Olivia speaks so much at her age... No wonder she talks, she's MY daughter. I talk to her all the time since she was born, and she's got a talkative sister as well. She is so much fun, I love the way she tells stories and tries to explain reality her own way, but sometimes I get caught in time, it was not so long ago that I had to beg someone else (that would be my niece) to please stop talking beacuse I really, really needed to think.
It's not so much time left until I start university, I am excited and got in a hurry to finish everything that I wanted to do in the summer. No way to finish in a week but we'll do what we can (and by we I mean I)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Rain and boredom

There hasn't benn much going on lately. To my amusement one more friend who I haven't seen or talked to in a long time jumped back into my life. We had a great time talking with Olga and since she is the only friend I get to have some mates with, it's always nice to share some time. I just wish I could somehow show her how wonderful she is! I have a lot of blessings I never thought of, one of them is having friends. For so long I have been recluted in the silence of my home, lonely and too overwhelmed by life as to go out and live. Anyway, it is nice to see old friends again and to find a little bit of myself.
The girls have been really bored lately, the more fun they've had was riding the bicycles with mom and dad and going to the playground. I try to find some indoor activities to keep them busy and stimulated but it's not that easy. Now the rain is coming, which means that it will rain almost everyday for the next months, until de snow comes for a month or two, and then more rain until the summmer is back to stay for one or two months at the most. One has to be so creative!
Emily is in that age when she wants to hide in her own small secret place. First I made her a tent with some blankets, but apparently that wasn't good enough. Emily was thrilled, but dad kept on saying that she "couldn't play inside a blanket tent", I didn't quite understand why but that's one more prove of how different our chilhoods have been. If it wasn't "the real thing" he couldn't play, me, on the other hand had to learn to use my skills and imagination to creat what I wanted because money was not enough. I had the cheap version of the popular toys and played mostly imagination games, which I loved!. Anyway... the girls got a tent, not anyone, one that is shaped as a castle and is purple and pink... Lovely. Yesterday morning Emily came to me and asked "mom, can you build me my blanket tent?" I love her sooo much!
Besides that I found out that the 31st of August I will have to go on a long trip to the unknown: University! I have to be there at 8 in the morning and that gives me one option only, to get up at 4, take a bus to Malmö, a train to Kristianstad and a bus to the campus... To be honest, I can't wait until I am sitting on those buses and train all by myself, with all that time to think and to be able to hear my thoughts! I think it can be a little sad to say that I am longing for such a long trip to get some self time, but it is the truth since I really, honestly have only 40 minutes during Olivia's nap and an hour or two after they fall asleep and by then I am exhausted myself.
Guess that's all so far, told you nothing had happened.

Thursday, August 5, 2010


I waited and waited a long, long time and finally I got the news that I got in the University! I am all ready to start... that's sort of speak because I have no clue when the first lesson is, where I have to go, what I have to follow online, what books I have to buy or anything else... I just know that I am going to be having Basic Course in Medical Science, Introduction to Nursing and Preclinical course. LOVE IT!
Besides the great news...
We went to Ystadsdjurpark yersterday. It was actually Grandma's idea and I am so glad she came up with the plan. We orginized a pick-nick basquet and left.
It was lovely weather since it wasn't too warm (you might be thinking that it never gets too warm in Sweden but this year we've had almost tropical heat... And that's what we are doing to the planet) and it was sunny. We saw all the animals, the girls peted the goats, although Olivia was a little reluctant at the begining because "de är smutsiga", which means "they are dirty". I wonder where on earth she got that repulsion over dirtyness... (blame my OCD)
After a while the ponny came and Emily got to ride. The round was almost a joke, it didn't take more than 5 minutes but to see her so happy and proud of herself, so confident and feeling all grown up was woth both the waiting and the money.
They have a barn and in there they had put together some jumping stuff so kids would land on the hay, that was a lot of fun for mommy, too.
Once we had our pick-nick and got our bellies happy we drove to a huge store where they sell absolutely everything. The girls went crazy when they saw The Little Mermaid's dolls and came out as happy as on X-mas morning with their dolls and their princess' backpacks and umbrellas for daycare.
It was a very nice day and I just whish we would have a lot like that one. Call me a fanatic but I just can't have enough family time.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Out and walk!

It was really bad weather yersterday, one of those days where one can almost breath the sadnes. Deep blue gray sky, wind, raind a little bit now and then; those kind of rains that get you all wet but which are to little and too insignificant for taking and umbrella.
I was getting panicky home so I dressed up the girls and took them to town, 2,2 km away from home, pushing the stroller with the standing board attached at the back so that Emily can jump on whenever she gets tired. She decided that it was best to save her energy for the mall so I pushed them both all the way.
Once there we looked around in what is Emily's and my favorite store... can you guess? YEAH!!!, paper, pens and hobby stuff!! I simply love that place (Söderslätts bok & papper)
We ended up in the mall as there is absolutely nothing else to do in town here and run into Stanke, an old friend from the SFI (Swedish for immigrants) times. She was my first friend in Sweden, and I was hers.
It was lovely to get together and catch up on our lives!
Isn't it weird? Two good old (not that they are old, but that we've met kind of a long time ago) lovely friends in two days!
That made my day! meeting them was a little bit like meeting my old me... certainly, that old me who was a friend to them has been really missed, so I hope she comes to stay...
After that there was not so much going on, it was a pretty lazy day.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Poor little thing...

No, NO, No!! I am not talking about myself! I found a bird sitting on my front steps yersterday morning. I took a closer look and found out that he only had one and a half wings, almost like the ABBA song "Chiquitita", but this little fellow didn't sing nor fly nor breathe again.
It turned out that the wing had been eaten by a hawk and as we all know, wings do not grow back, so the poor little thing never told the tail and Nicklas' dad broke his neck in an act of mercy. The End...
After the sad ending of the little bird whose grave became nothing but a dog poopy bag, we went for a bycicle ride with the girls. They sitting behind us. A whole hour it took and they weren't tired of it...
Today was a much easier day. My friend Lollo came home for a visit, it had been so so so long since we last met! I really love her, she is awesome and I hope we can make us the time to visit each other more often.
Nothing more I'm affraid... I just whish the bird wouldn't have spent the last energy it had left in running away from me when I came out with the camera, didn't photo it after because I thought it would be kinda sick to post a photo of a bird my father-in-law had just killed... wouldn't it?

Monday, July 26, 2010

I should probably write when something DOES happen... or?

Ok, my whole theory of how interesting life can get is going down the toilette. Today? A trip to the bank followed by the supermarket, some rounds with Indi and salmon with bulgur salad, which might sound sofisticated but it is actually one of my tipical "fast foods", ready in 25 minutes!
Other than that, half an hour in the playground and a little bit of tv.
On the other hand, if I post what went on inside of my head today I might get a book as thick and hard to read as the Ulises by Joyce, though absolutely not so well writen... to be honest I don't think it would turn out readable.
I should probably post a "life update" on days like this, shouldn't I?

Just another boring Sunday....

Why are Sundays such boring days? I miss the time when I spent half of the day at Church. At that time not only I had something to do all morning but I came home fullfilled. Ok, to be honest, it could happen that I came more stressed out because of some unfortunate comment.
Anyway, Sundays are boring for most people and it was one of those days yesterday. The most exciting thing that happened was that Olivia got her first hair cut. I was very reluctant at the beginning. I don't know why I am so attached to my girls hair... It literaly hurts to cut it! But she wanted to have it just like Emily and so i had to put my pain away (as I usually do when it comes to doing something the girls want) and cutted the beautiful, soft, babyhair...
She was so happy! That made it worth it but I stick to what I said the day Emily was born, "first real hair cut at their fifth birthday".
Am I the only one with that obsession? Everybody here thinks that I am some kind of a lunatic... yeah, yeah, I am!
Besides that, the ironing,the EVERYDAY cleaning that I have to do because of our lovely golden retriever who sheds like a maniac, nothing happened.
I got mad at Nicklas because he was watching his third soccer game of the day (shouldn't one be enough?) and went to the basement to read my old journals.
Oh my gosh! there were so many things I had forgotten... I was wild! Gotta make sure they are put away from my kids reach before they are teenagers... Not because I pretend to paint them the wrong picture of who I was as a teen, but they won't need any more ideas, will they?

PS: It looks wrong but once it was settled it came out straight, I will post new pics later.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

New blog, new life?

I have been thinking about a new blog since a while ago, mostly because I wanted to have things organized. What this is going to be is a blog about my life, ups and downs of my daily rutine and the wonderful experiences that one can get in life, when looking at it closely enough.
So no, no new life after all, but hopefuly a new way to share it. I've always thought that the most boring of the lives has the potential to become the most interesting one... I think I am trying to prove myself right (or wrong...?)
Anyway, I believe this will be the perfect place to take a pick on my life and perhaps, only perhaps, it will give you a clue about who I am and why I always say that I am not so normal.
Hope you enjoy...

PS: Is anybody really reading this?