And so it goes when I have nothing to say...

I don't really have a lot to write about. I have basically been working and cleaning the house, and then cleaning the house and working after that... G my life is so exciting! I don't even have anecdotes or funny comments from the girls. 

It was a pretty good day at work last Sunday, though. You'll see, I get along well with all the people I have worked with so far, but as it usually is the case, I feel more comfortable with some of them. It has nothing to do with how nice they are or how friendly... they are all great I have to admit. But with this girl we are annoyingly efficient and fast. Yesterday morning, by 11:30 we hade the laundry done, the breakfast stuff dished and in it's place, 8 bathrooms cleaned and dessert ready, so there was nothing to do and the elder had all gone to their rooms to take a nap before lunch. We started making cute name tags for the table, with colour papers and small stickers that I took with me. They turned out really pretty and all of them loved it, they were so excited with such a silly detail, I almost felt a little gilty... The thing is that we made their day and then I started thinking about how I used to do those silly, apparently unimportant things all the time. 

 

 When I fist came I would make a little card or a decorated note for Nicklas every day, but for him it was an unnecesary waste of time and a very stupid thing to do. He never thanked for them, he didn't like it and I am thankfull he was honest about it... kind of brutally honest I would have said 8 years ago. As a result I stoped with that, not only I didn't make them for him but I figured he was right and I was one naive, silly, fairy-tale believer, childish, hopeless romantic, people pleaser moron to whom nobody deared to say the truth about her bothersome pretty notes and elaborated home made cards for not reason at all... so I killed the Hallmark girl and buried her 6 feet under ground. 

The stupid event from yesterday made me think that some people DO like those gestures and really appreciate them, and encouraged me to make my scrapbooks and start crafting again. 

Since we were so fast yesterday we had all and a little more done by 3 pm, which meant that we could take 1 hour break all at the same time and not split it in two 30 mins. So I went to the park across the street with my copy of Heaven Is Here and read for the whole hour. I had forgotten how I felt when I read (and I mean when I read for pleasure and not for school) The world desappeared and I felt so relaxed and in peace! I missed that feeling, I missed the Hallmark girl! Why did I change the things that made me feel good just because someone thought they were useless and a waste of time? 

My bad! 

Vacation is over

Playground in Albäcksskogen, big favorite right now.

Today is going to be my first day at work, I have been there a few times to learn the routines and meet the elderly, BUT... yeah, it's me writing people! did you expect a post without a but? you've got to be kiddin'. Whatever. The catch is that I have been two days working on the C department and it is very little I am going to work there, so this sounds a lot like fun, not! For me surely, but not for my coworkers who will have to explain everything (certainly more than once). 

So these were my three completely free days, no job no school. What did I do? Well... to begin with I cleaned all the windows, we don't have that many, it's a small house but they were really dirty so I had to wash and polish. Then I painted the kitchen, same colour but it needed to be freshened up and most of all, Olivia's art had to be removed. Don't judge! it was hard enough with daily chores and school so the walls were "decorated" for over a year. since the kitchen looked so much better, I painted the living room, too (same reason but only one tiny little pencil "art", the rest was just... I don't know, it didn't look new painted and that bothered me. 

I took the girls to town on Saturday morning and got them some clothes and summer shoes, they grow up so fast! Then they had their first swim in the pool, so lovely they were and they had so much fun! But it is Sweden and it was cold so we filled it up with warm water. I have no pics though. Sorry for the miss.

On Sunday we went to Malmö and got Olivia her first scooter (no pics of that either, I suck!) A stop by in Albäcksskogen and then lunch. After that they went to the playground in their scooters (with Daddy) and I stood home fixing up the mess. 

And that was it... three days. 

We'll see what we can come up to this summer.

Perfect Day

Last Friday we went to Denmark to spend the day, and here are some pics of the wonderful, marvelous, funny, sunny, warm and perfect day!

Happy Feet

Look mom, I am riding Alex!

Not so easy to get such a beautiful smile to the camera from Emily

I love their astonishment

Emily in wonderland

And this is Olivia's personality in a picture (when she does not have low glucose)

A ride on the Ladybug

OK.. too much junk food for a day

but Olivia didn't seem to mind...

the secret photo (Nicklas doesn't know he is on it, shh)

Some "today's stuff", I guess

I usually write about the family here, and all the crazy things the girls do, or what I bake, but today I feel like writing a little bit about me and my own life. The life I have besides being a mom and a wife.

The practice at the clinic is almost over, just two more days just when I was getting comfortable and I knew most of the regular patients. It is sad but it means that I am getting closer to graduation and that is both scary and awesome. 

In this time I've learned to take patients all by myself, give advise, take away stitches, notice when a wound is healing properly and when it is on it's way to get infected, I've trained taking blood samples and making hemoglobin and glucose tests, give injections and vaccines and most of all, to listen to the patients. I've loved every day at the clinic and I am so thankful for having been able to be a part of it and for all the guide and support I've had from my instructor and the rest of the staff.

I had my final examination in the practice today and it went great, so now is one final test, one seminary plus10 more days of practice at pediatric care and the second year is over.

I have started working also, I won't formally work until the 11th of June but I have been going to work for training. I will be working in a retirement home, that kind of makes me sad in a way... I want to help people to recover, to get healthy again, to be good and have good lives and being with old (and I mean really, really old) people, reminds me that their journey is coming to it's end. 

The other day I was thinking about that and realized that we are so innocent in that respect. We are so sure that we have more days than the elderly and the truth is that we do not know. Whatever... Not so much into thinking about life and death today.

I feel that I am growing as a person and this profession is giving me the opportunity both to serve and help others and to develop empathy, love and caring not only for people around me but also towards myself. I am a huge believer in that when we lose ourselves in the service of others we find happiness in our own lives, and I am not talking about putting myself at the end of the list (because that is a defect and I truly need to make more progress in that) I just believe with all my heart that when we look at others to find the best in them and we focus our attention on the people around us rather than in ourselves and our trials and our problems and our dramas, life not only becomes surprisingly easy but so much more worth it, so much more fulfilling and fun... At the end of the day, what we do and give to others, we do and give to ourselves.

I am a cruel mom!!

Emily's favorite flower

It was a lovely sunny day today, Summer is finally on its way and I really hope it is not like last year (we had rain 80% of the time) When everybody was home, me after my practice, Nicklas after work and the girls back from kinder we went to the backyard and just enjoyed the weather meanwhile we waited for the sausages to get ready in the barbecue.

The girls were playing hide and seek but both of them wanted to hide. I was really tired (still am) because I worked night both Friday and Saturday and I got up at 6 am today (totally jetlagged, I have to say). They asked me to look for them to what I replied: "Why don't you both hide and the the first one to get bored of being hiding can come out and look for the other one" They are so innocent! they got very excited about the new game and played it all afternoon... I felt so cruel! But I cannot stop smiling. These girls of mine are just too cute and nice for having a mom like me! I love them so much and I have so much fun with them! (and I really didn't mean to ridicule them, I was just trying them to beg me to play...) I'm cruel!

Crazy little girls of mine!

It's been pretty busy up here... I have been doing my practice in psychiatry first and now in primary care, together with studying and seminaries and the girls and all my baking (that's my own fault but somehow I gotta get a break). We are tearing the bathroom down because we had mold and Olivia is allergic to it. Sadly as it is she has been having some obstruction in the bronchi which is pretty much a mild form of asthma... that means that I had been up a few hours every night for a few days. It brakes my heart really! She has been thinking a lot after the first episode and she came the other day and asked: "Mom, if people stop breathing, they die, right?" "Well... if they do not breath any more at all they do" "And if someone breaths weird then they can stop breathing and die!" poor angel! I did calm her down and explained that when people breath weird they get medicine and they get better again. 

Whatever... it's been crazy here in every way, no point writing the whole story now. The good part is that whenever things are as bad as they can get, then, whatever may come, will certainly make things better... and it is all fine now.

Here are my sweet little princesses goofing around.

Ice Season is over

The figure skating season was over the 25th of March. That day the kids were told to wear costumes and they had a little contest where the best costume won a price. Olivia woke up very decided not to go as a princess but as a "doctor", so I took the nurse costume she got from aunt Laura for X-mas and we made something out of it. Of course she was dressed as a nurse, but she aims higher and presented herself as Doctor House Olivia. She happens to love to watch House with me Tuesdays night. Since almost all of the girls where dressed as princesses, ballerinas or cheerleaders, her unusual choice came as a surprise and she won!  Needless to say that I was one proud mom!

Here are some photos of one of the days on the ice. And the one of Olivia on her costume.